You had a crush on your classmate in highschool or your classmate in one of your subjects in college. You wanted to know to that person that you like him. So you took steps to reach that goal. Probably you said to his close friend that you had a crush on him or you made him notice you by doing KSP or Kulang Sa Pansin acts. Then, when he already noticed you, this spurred a GTKY between you and him through casual conversations. You exchanged numbers. You frequently communicate through calls, texts, or chats in social media. Eventually, you had a feeling that there is something more than what you felt aside from friendship. After months or weeks, you then went into relationship. That was your happiest moment because you were already thinking of the word “forever.” Months or a year or luckily, years after, your relationship started to grow colder. Something bad happened, probably third party or the “it’s not you, it’s me line” existed which triggered for both of you to have a cool off which consequently went to a quits or break up. You thought that this is the end of both of you. Well, unfortunately, it’s not. He or she has still left remains from your memory which is the reason for the difficult process of moving on. Crying at your bedroom during the loneliest midnight. Aside from that, there’s anger, bitterness, frustration, and regret. The emotional and psychological trauma is still seared within you because of that person. Some have survived because they chose the path of moving on. Unfortunately, others are still imprisoned by their past because they allow the trails to control their future.
Well, most of us have gone through such things before. Kaway-kaway. To some who are turning their heads from left to right, you are fortunate. For some, you are also fortunate because you have learned, hopefully, from your mistakes in your previous relationships which made you a better and a stronger person at present. Aside from that, I wanted to say my warmest congratulations because you have survived such heartbreaks. Moreover, I believed that some of you might disagree because once you fall in love with a certain person, it’s truly hard to control your feelings and emotions. Yet, if you have the determination, focus, and willpower to control yourself because of the standards you have set for yourself in a relationship, then you won’t be easily deceived in wrongful relationships or superficial relationships, especially in the popularity of social media today. Sigh.
Because of this, I believe that the young individuals today, specifically teenagers, should engage in relationships after pursuing their college education for these reasons. Take these seriously from someone who has been to several relationships before and eventually, renewed her life to light from the darkness.
1. Investing deep feelings to someone means that you should be ready to face its probable consequences
This is the answer to all the hugot love songs we hear on the radio while studying or in the jeepney while riding. When you enter a relationship, you are investing your feelings and emotions to that person. With that, you should not expect that your journey together is smooth-sailing, like those in some movies you’ve seen. Ugh. You should expect a lot of storms that would test your character as a lover such as jealousy, attachment, and craziness and even as a person which is your security as an individual. At the same time, you should expect to have a broken heart as a result of your relationship with that person. Through such consequences, this happens because…
2. We’re not yet ready for bigger responsibilities
Consequences might come in the form of emotional pain or real souvenirs. As a result of your hormones speedily rushing through your nerves and your body heating up, he might give you a souvenir in the form of the sperm cell and egg cell entwined to form a baby. Yes, that souvenir is a baby. Depending on the maturity of both persons, there’s just a small probability that they might succeed in their relationship. Thus, young individuals are not yet ready to handle bigger responsibilities such as family duties and financial management because our minds are still not wired up for maturity. We’re still yearning to enjoy our life to the fullest and investing in our education and our studies to secure a brighter future.
3. We have not seen the bigger picture of the real world
After graduating in college, one would be able to see that life is really hard. Applying a job is easy but having the probability of being hired is a difficult situation. Also, one would be able to realize that it’s not just about love but also practicality. I don’t say that you should marry someone only for financial security. No, love should still there. What it means is that raising a family is not a trouble-free task. Based on my observations from other people, I believed that to have a family, one should already be secured in all aspects such as physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual capacity. If the couple doesn’t have these securities, then they won’t be able to achieve the family masterpiece they’ve dreamed of. In short, we, as young people, are wired to enjoy our life to the fullest before we handle such responsibilities that are not a child’s play.
4. Education is essential for anyone above anything else
I believe that everyone should highly prioritize education above anything else in their life. No matter what career they are planning to pursue in the future, education is still of utmost importance. You can have fame, fortune, wealth, and anything, but these are only temporal matters. These could be stolen by anyone. Yet, education is something that cannot be taken away from you. You could use it to change this world and to change your life by using it as your compass in the real world. Above all, an educated person has substance.
5. There’s so much more in our life than engaging in relationships
Some of us depend our worth to the opposite sex, when in fact, it should be otherwise.
We seek for inspiration and motivation through the love we would be able to receive from the other half. However, this kind of mark is only surpassing. True inspiration and motivation comes from ourselves first. Our worth does not depend from another person because it first begins on how we positively see ourselves. Happiness and inspiration starts from you. You cannot get it from material possessions or from other people.
6. There’s a time and a season for everything
I believe that God has a better plan for us. His time is the perfect time. So we should not push ourselves to hinder His plans for us. #TamangPanahon
7. Being single is better than being in a wrong relationship
After I moved on from my last relationship, I could really say that being single is the best feeling in the world. You have the opportunity to enjoy your own company without the chains from another person. You would be able to freely wander your mind everywhere without thinking of your other half. You would be able to correctly invest your time on things that you wanted to pursue instead of giving it to someone who doesn’t deserve it. As they say, giving your time is likewise giving a portion of your life that cannot be taken away from you because time cannot be taken back.
8. Developing and exploring yourself through the world
As young individuals, having time in relationships would just waste our time because our job as adolescents is to discover and develop ourselves further. We are still developing ourselves to become better persons. We are still focusing on our studies instead of being distracted. We are still exploring our potentials and skills as a human being. Knowing ourselves first is very important before entering relationships. Above all, let us not throw away our dreams in the drain and don’t just let go of our established standards. Reach for the stars and don’t let anyone and anything dim your shine.
9. The world needs you
We are made for something better. We are made to transcend ourselves to others in this world. The problem is that we tend to focus on ourselves and on our problems which is why feel empty at times. Don’t ever think why you existed in this world in the first place because you were made for something more. The world with your existence is a much better place.
10. Entering relationships is the path to marriage
This is what we tend to forget today. We go into relationship because we thirst for it and we think that this could make our lives better. In fact, we are adding up more problems in our life if we are not yet ready for it. We are making our lives more complicated. We go into a relationship because of the label or the pressures of social media and the pressures of our environment. In the first place, we must solely remember that being in a relationship is an initiation to marriage.
I believe that we discover ourselves after we finish pursuing our college education, when we experience the real world that lies ahead of us. Going in a relationship while we are still young provides an uncertainty. Several events would happen that might change us. A lot of things would also change such as our beliefs, principles, and values which would contribute to our individuality. Above all, in this chaotic and transient world, if fried chicken is equated to Jollibee, a letter F to Facebook, or a 50 yellow stars to the flag of the United States, then the world must be able to see Our Lord Jesus Christ in the center of every genuine relationship.