I Am 22 Years Old, Not Wanting To Be In A Relationship

Do you have a boyfriend? Are you sure you don’t have one? But there is someone currently courting at you, right? These are just few of the several questions asked by people on the reason why I still don’t have a boyfriend, knowing that I am already eligible to have one since I already graduated from college and is employed in a bank. Frankly, at times, I am already fed up with these questions. In my mind, I wonder if a man or a woman really needs a special someone to complete his or her life?


I’ve seen various acts of men which made me realize how illogical women are when it comes to love. I have relatives and friends who came from a broken family just because of the father’s infidelity. Also, I have a close friend who is a single mom just because the father of her child is irresponsible. With these things, it made me realize that I’d rather prefer to be single which I am perfectly contented right now than to be in a relationship where your heart and emotions would be very fragile at all times. I was cheated by my boyfriend, now an ex-boyfriend, during our long-distance relationship two years ago. As a result of this experience, it was hard for me to build a trust to the next person who would attempt to come into my life. It’s hard for me right now to commit to a person because most likely, I would ask him a lot of questions. Among all the women that you’ve known, why did you choose me? What it’s in me that made you wanted to enter into my life? As an introvert and timid person, I have this mindset that a man would just easily cheat on me or do foolish things behind my back knowing this soft personality of mine. This is also the reason why I seek to achieve greater heights in life as a result of my competitive attitude so that no man could hurt or look down on me. That’s why I prefer to be single.

I am not rushing things. I’m still young. I’m still in the process of knowing myself and discovering the spectacular world we live in. In fact, I still reflect at this present time if I would choose the path of becoming a mother through the big responsibility I will have to my family or choose the easier road which is remaining to be single for the rest of my life since the responsibility that I would only have is my own self? You know, I just love the idea of living alone in my simple house with a garden where I can plant herbs and vegetables. I envision that moment where I can independently manage my time, have a mini office where I can express and write my ideas and opinions, prepare my healthy meals, have my close friends come over at my crib, go to my church community, and just reflect on the meaning of life.  Also, I hate it when friends or other people would set me for a date to a guy or pair me to a stranger. Unlike before in high school or college where I love that idea, I don’t anymore easily succumb to such set-up realizing that you cannot just love someone through that person’s physical appearance or awesome dancing or singing skills. It’s not love, it’s just actually plain infatuation. Through time, I am able to realize that a man’s character and strong faith and burning love to God are the two most important things a woman should seek to a person. When good looks would eventually disappear as time goes by, these intangible yet priceless attributes would still remain through the years. Even though it’s hard to find a man in this generation who has these types of attributes, I believe in His better plans in my life.

Because of this, I believe that we should not rush in finding the right person or the perfect pair for us. We should not compromise our beliefs and principles just to fit in with the trend at present where almost everyone is in a relationship. Life is not just about being in a relationship. Rather, we should strive to be that ideal and perfect person to our future spouses by serving the church and community and selflessly giving a part of ourselves to other people. Who knows, we will never even realize that through that journey, we would unexpectedly meet that person whom He has reserved for us in this world.



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