Just this morning, I’ve been reminded by Facebook on a memory 1 year ago where I was posing holding a sparkler during the New Year’s Eve of 2017. Indeed, time flies so fast. 1 year was just like a blink of an eye. So, before I begin another year, I would like to wrap up my 2017 in a playlist.
1. January – The Climb by Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it.
That dream I’m dreaming,
But there’s a voice inside my head saying,
“You’ll never reach it.”
Every step I’m takin’
Every move I make feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin’
But I, I gotta keep tryin’
Gotta keep my head held high
I began 2017 by taking calculated risks. I thirst for reaching my ultimate goals. Because of this, I listed my goals which I wish to accomplish during the year. One of the goals I had was to enroll in a public speaking class. I wanted to take it as a stepping stone for me in joining beauty pageants. During this month, I was really very determined that I personally approached the director of Speechmasters. It was the beginning where I really kept my eyes on the stars since I was already looking forward for a successful year.
2. February – Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes ’til I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
During this month, I had been praying hard if He would allow me to pursue my dream to join the annual Miss Cagayan de Oro. I was praying that He would give me a sign. I was praying that someone might scout me in a mall or a mentor would add me on Facebook since he or she thought that I have the potential to be a beauty queen. Nevertheless, I really had faith that He would guide me whatever might come along. I promised to myself that whenever an opportunity would knock, I would never doubt to grab that chance.
3. March – Lord I Offer My Life
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I’ve been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
During this month, it has been almost a year where I started serving our parish as part of the Lectors and Commentator Ministry and Parish Finance Council. Never had I been so dedicated and passionate in doing something for His greater glory despite my hectic schedule. I have truly felt His presence during this time since we had a Lenten recollection with my Lay Dehonian community at the Divine Mercy Shrine in El Salvador, Misamis Oriental. I was able to ponder how grateful I am to be able to serve Him. I have also been blessed with a lot of things in my life that I wanted Him to use me for His greater glory.
4. April – Here I Am Lord by James Kilbane
Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.
This month had been a busy one for me because of the Holy Week. I have considered and reflected during this time to live a consecrated life. I was so interested whenever I see an invitation poster from a religious congregation in a church bulletin board. However, there’s something in myself that is holding me back. Yet, I was discerning if it is really for me since I also have this desire of joining beauty pageants which is contrasting from living a religious life.
Also, during this month has been a turning point for me. I have felt that God has answered my prayers last February. During the Holy Week, I was assigned to be a psalmist for several Eucharistic celebrations. One of my fellow church members brought the crown of Mama Mary. I was bored that I wore it, took a selfie, and posted it on Facebook. After some time, my classmate who is the reigning Miss Cagayan de Oro messaged me if I wanted to join the upcoming pageant. I was so overwhelmed that I never hesitated to say my yes. Eventually, she endorsed me to her mentor and I trained with their camp for a few weeks. However, before the screening, I backed-out for no reason. I believe that this was one of the big opportunities I’ve let go this year which I wish to grab again this year.
5. May – Angel by The Corrs
I hope they love yo like we do
I’ll be proud to be like you
Be like you
(I’ll be proud to be like you)
This has been one of my favorite songs ever since. Turning 22 which is another milestone in my life, I’ve felt that I am already confident to pursue my goals which is reflective to this carefree song.
6. June – Hide Your Love Away by Anthem Lights
I don’t know your name
I’ve never even seen your face
I’m looking with my eyes
’til I find you in the right time and place
Hide your love away
Wait for me
Wait for me
I will do the same
Wait for me
wait for me
There will come a day
When I will finally say
Staring in your eyes
I’ve waited my whole life…
For this night
I was bored during this month. I came to the point where I became jealous of my officemates who are having strong relationships with their loved ones. I have longed for that feeling where someone would send you their good mornings and good nights and where you would go out with this special someone.
I had an eye on every man I met which has a potential to be my crush. I remembered having a crush on a seminarian during the anniversary of a religious organization of priests here in our vicinity. However, I just let that feeling pass by.
By this time, I always listen to this song. It speaks what my heart is actually longing for. It has also reminded me to wait for the Godly-person which He will give to me in His perfect time. I have always been praying for this one knowing that this world is full of deceitful men who just try to play women’s hearts. I told myself that I’d rather be single than to be miserable with a wrong guy. I wanted to build myself first before engaging myself in a relationship. Also, I wanted to date with the intention of marriage and not just date without a direction. I really had faith that He would lead me to the right man one day.
7. July – Masterpiece by Jessie J
I still fall on my face sometimes
And I can’t colour inside the lines
‘Cause I’m perfectly incomplete
I’m still working on my masterpiece
And I, I wanna hang with the greats
Got a way to go, but it’s worth the wait
No, you haven’t seen the best of me
I’m still working on my masterpiece
I was chosen to be the representative of Cagayan de Oro Support Unit during the annual Miss UCPB Mindanao pageant. I was really very determined during this time where I pushed myself to be disciplined. I enrolled at the gym for 2 months and had a strict diet. I really yearned for a crown since I have foregone the biggest opportunity a few months before. With that, I wanted to make up for the lost opportunity.
8. August – Am I Wrong by Nico and Vinz
Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?
I ain’t tryna do what everybody else doing
Just ’cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, I’ll fall but I’ll grow
I’m walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home
As an introvert with an INFJ personality, I struggle with myself sometimes since I am a deep-thinker. My struggle is mostly with myself and with the standards of this world. Today, I really try to stand on my own principles and values and by not following where the crowd usually goes. I seek to celebrate my own individuality.
9. September – Crush by David Archuleta
‘Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It’s just too much
Just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized
And I’ve just got to know
During this month, I really never expected to have a crush on a seminarian who was assigned here in our parish for his exposure. Since we became friends on Facebook, I usually have an update on the happenings of his life. There came a time where he waved to me on messenger. Yet, I just ignored it despite that I have a crush on him and knowing that He is a seminarian. However, I was always bothered if I should wave back or just let him be in his life. Nevertheless, I was always praying for what I feel knowing that he has a commitment in his calling to serve the Lord.
10. October – Weak by SWV
I don’t know what it is that you’ve done to me
But it’s caused me to act in such a crazy way
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you’re doing
It’s a feeling that I want to stay
I never expected that this month would be the beginning of the greatest plot twist of 2017. I took that leap of faith by waving back to my crush during the last Friday of this month. Eventually, this started our conversation. This song perfectly describes what I have felt during that time.
11. November – Torete by Moira dela Torre
Wag kang mag-alala
Di ko ipipilit sa ‘yo
Kahit na lilipad ang isip ko’y torete sa ‘yo
Ilang gabi pa nga lang
Nang tayo’y pinagtagpo
Na parang may tumulak
Nanlalamig, nanginginig na ako
This month had been a colorful month for me. I knew him better through our long conversations and good company. I was extremely at bliss knowing that my crush also has a crush on me. However, I try to control my feelings knowing that he is a seminarian.
12. December – If You’re Not The One
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?
This song describes what I felt for him. I don’t know if he is really the one which God has intended for me. We just let things unfold through time since He is the only who knows His plans for our lives.
This sums up my 2017. What set of songs sums up yours?